Disappointed

01 Monday Mar 2021

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I thought I knew you.

The person who matched me- my person.

You said all the right things, but I still can’t help but think they were all lies…

 

It was perfect

Too perfect.

LOVE is not a word to just… “throw around”

Yet you did.

The first time it happened I didn’t know what to do with myself,

I was broken, upset, hurt, and wondering what I did wrong?

But then you came to your senses!

I forgave you.

You chose me!

Who is this person I have become- waiting to be chosen?

I lost myself, but it was okay because I gained you…

I trusted you.

I confided in you.

You knew my happy ending, but you also knew my worst fears.

You used all of it, every last drop.

You lost all my trust…

But,

I learned, I experienced

…I LOVED.

 

I’m not mad.

I’m not hurt.

I’m disappointed-

in You.

“in Denial”

16 Saturday Nov 2019

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I cry in the shower to trick myself.

I’m the one in denial, no one else.

Water makes the tears disappear.

“It never happened, it was never there.”

I smile in public to trick myself.

I’m the one in denial, no one else.

People smile back with a nod or wave.

“I’m fine, I’m ok, I’m brave.”

I laugh in public to trick myself.

I’m the one in denial, no one else.

When everyone is laughing it’s hard to hear,

the sounds of panic and ALL my worst fears.

My mind showed me things that weren’t there.

Life to me just wasn’t fair.

I cried, I laughed and I smiled.

I tried to look normal on the inside.

In the end, I was only tricking myself.

I was in denial and never got help.

(T)omorrow

20 Sunday Jan 2019

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Trials, Tribulations, Thoughts, Treasures, Tragedy, and Triumphs…

Take These Things and Think.

Are These just Tricks Taught by Takers Trying to Test?

Tame your Temper, before They Take your Throne.

Then…

THINK AGAIN and  Tell the Tale that no one has Told.

Their Tackiness is Tactful and could be mistaken for Taste

So,

Try to Turn the Tables set by Time, so your life isn’t a Taboo.

Your Truth is yours for the Taking.

 

Short and Sweet

25 Sunday Mar 2018

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The blessing everyone needed,
which came as a surprise.

This beautiful person
With bright, happy eyes.

To love you is a pleasure,
one you will never know.

Life is more meaningful,
watching you grow.

Once I see your face,
my day is complete.

And every time I hear you laugh,
my heart skips a beat.

Someone’s prayers must have been answered
from way up above.

Because you ARE the definition of “True Love.“

For Ria.

Ria

Finally…

22 Friday Sep 2017

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Standards are high
Needing someone willing to try.

Too grown to be let down,
but also too grown to keep someone around.

Take over my mind,
Not my body or my life.

When I see the glass half empty,
Can you see it half full?

Love me,
But give me time.

Time to understand what love really is
Time to see what my hearts wants, so it can give.

I’m tired
Tired of myself.

I finally chose me, so give me some space
I’ll eventually learn to love, BUT at my own pace.

The End of Summer…

03 Sunday Sep 2017

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summer days
summer nights
summer walks

Never Happened…

hot days
beach days
vacation days

Never Happened…

It’s Cold
It’s Raining
It’s Gloomy

Things are changing… and not for the better

What is going on?

Summers are not HOT anymore, but Global warming is a “Hoax?”

Women are STILL fighting for Rights and Equality?

People are STILL fighting Racism?

Fighting for Acceptance?

Fighting at ALL?

Are we living in a dream?

Because this is Unbelievable…

It’s not funny… Wake Up!

We NEED to do Better.

If not now, for our Future,

And our Future’s, Future.

Hopefully, it’s “hot” next summer

That is all…

“If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.” – Malcolm X

Flowers…

15 Wednesday Feb 2017

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​I got flowers the other day

But they weren’t for me

 

A very cliché gesture,

In actuality

 

Maybe that’s why I gave them away

A dozen long-stem roses to put on display?

 

Roses, roses, full of thorns

The same long-stem roses given when people mourn.

 

Sorry, happy birthday and I miss you.

Why do flowers make these true?

 

Say what you mean and mean what you say,

Don’t use flowers to make it okay.

 

Flowers are a symbol that are supposed to mean love.

When given flowers is that what people are thinking of?

 

Just like its thorns that made you bleed

Love is just a figment of what we think we need.

Unfortunate Circumstance

30 Sunday Oct 2016

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When you finally miss me i’ll be gone.

When you finally decide I’m worth it, I won’t be waiting.

My watch broke, because I stared at it too long.

Waiting…

I’m enough for me,
but there’s also plenty of fish in the sea.

Someone who is waiting and worthy of my wasted time.

“Wasted time is worse than wasted love”

Do me one last favor and don’t shed one tear-
You had your chance.
You no longer have me here-
You have created your own– unfortunate circumstance

“You Don’t Know Me…”

24 Saturday Sep 2016

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Thoughts invade my sleep, leaving me without any.
Tired.

I’m everyone’s strength, but who is mine?
Frustrated.

This “strength” has become my inner weakness.
Defeated.

Which mask should I put on today?
Pretending.

Each day feels different.
Changing.

Feelings bottled up, with nowhere to go.
Annoyed.

“They” wouldn’t understand.
Alone.

I will not let whatever-THIS- is get the best of me.
Determined.

It will never control who I am.
Driven.

I will be just fine.

 

**Dedicated to Someone Special